Entertainment Dish

Supposedly, this is a chance for Rihanna to “move on” and “start fresh with a new man.” Uh, whatever; Rihanna was a trashy, foul-mouthed little drama queen long before she started falsely accusing guys of beating her, and her own family didn’t even want her around at a wedding because of her behavior. So let’s not start kissing her ass just because she has a new boyfriend. The guy is either desperate, broke, or a complete retard. He actually happens to be Matt Kemp of the LA Dodgers. Jocks aren’t usually real big in the brains department anyway.

Hollywood Life reports:

“Its a new year, which means a fresh start. Pop star Rihanna is putting her boy drama of 2009 behind her and moving on with a new man LA Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp and it looks more and more like the real thing.

Things are seriously starting to heat up for the two, says a source close to the songbird. In fact, Oklahoma-native Matt, 25, followed Rihanna, 21, to Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates, where she performed at the Emirates Palace on New Years Eve.

Rihanna and Matt are starting to get serious he even followed her to Dubai for New Years, the insider tells HollywoodLife.com, adding, Rihanna likes him because hes such a gentlemanand super sexy!

Cant say we blame Rihanna for choosing someone completely unlike ex-boyfriend Chris Brown, 20, who was found guilty for physically abusing her last year.

Atta girl, Rihanna. We dig your resolution: out with the old and in with the new!”

Ugh, please; pardon me while I barf up my dinner. Rihanna doesn’t need a “gentleman”, she needs a handler; someone to grab a tazer and a box of oreos for when she gets out of hand. The worst thing about her is that unlike Left Eye from TLC, Rihanna doesn’t even have the spine to fight her own battles, or even be supportive of women who suffer from real cases of domestic violence. And no, I don’t believe Chris Brown beat her up for no reason. Plus, she has nooo home training. We’re over Rihanna.

Vanity Fair picked the best possible time to release an “edgy” photo spread of Tiger Woods, –right as he’s about to get divorced, lose his family, and at the peak of infamy, having been discovered cheating on his wife with a dozen women, more or less, and having paid for countless escorts. Wow, so, the editor over at Vanity Fair seemed to think this was a great time to release shirtless “sexy” photos of the now infamous whoremonger? Good going, VF!

The Huffington Post reports:

“A shirtless Tiger Woods graces the cover of the February issue of Vanity Fair. The magazine features a reflection from Friday Night Lights author Buzz Bissinger and, according to a press release, a “full portfolio” of “never-before-seen photos of a raw, unguarded Woods” taken by Annie Leibovitz.”

Buzz Bisinger reflects somewhat on Woods’ ability, and seemingly superhuman visage, –being able to fool millions into believing he was this wholesome role model, when the interior was just as ugly as any NBA star’s rape charges. The photo spread of Tiger Woods, shirtless and raunchy, we could definitely have done without. On the other hand, the article is sensational, –as only Bisinger knows how to deliver. His insight into Tiger Woods’ exploits, and situation are keen.

Some choice excerpts from VF’s site:

“It wasnt until after the early-morning hours of November 27when Tiger Woods got into his Cadillac Escalade closely trailed by a golf club carried by his likely very furious wife, drove his car far less distance than he putts a golf ball, and hit a fire hydrantthat the tens of millions of us who admired him suddenly came to a realization: this was the first time we had ever seen him do something human, except perhaps for when, at the Buick Open last year, he was caught on video shaking his leg, apparently farting, and then grinning like a frat boy.

We know all too well the unraveling that has gone on since the crash. Tigers little car ride was as pregnant with imminent implosion as the one taken by another sports celebrity on the San Diego Freeway, followed by a convoy of Los Angeles police cars, in 1994. Tigers story has been driven by sex, tons of it, in allegedly all different varieties: threesomes in which he greatly enjoyed girl-on-girl, and mild S&M (featuring hair-pulling and spanking); $60,000 pay-for-sex escort dates; a quickie against the side of a car in a church parking lot; a preference for porn stars and nightclub waitresses, virtually all of them with lips almost as thick as their very full breasts; drug-bolstered encounters designed to make him even more of a conquistador (Ambien, of all things); immature sex-text messages (Send me something naughty … Go to the bathroom and take [a picture], I will wear you out … When was the last time you got [laid]?); soulful confessions that he got married only for image and was bored with his wife; regular payments of between $5,000 and $10,000 each month to keep his harem quiet. Its all there and more in what is the greatest single fall in popularity of a nonpolitician in the history of public-opinion surveys: a drop in approval from 87 percent in 2005 to 33 percent, with an unfavorable rating of 57 percent, according to a recent USA Today/Gallup poll.

…

There was once, in fact, a sustained glimpse of the real Tiger Woods. In 1997, Charles Pierce, writing for GQ, got inside. Tiger was 21 at the time, on the eve of winning his first of four Masters. For somebody who at the age of two had appeared on The Mike Douglas Show (where, with a perfect swing, he miraculously hit a stunning shot into the center of a net), he seemed remarkably nave and remarkably stupid about the ways of the media. The interview was largely a series of profane quips by Tiger, such as What I cant figure out is why so many good-looking women hang around baseball and basketball. Is it because, you know, people always say that, like, black guys have big dicks? At another moment, during a photo shoot where four women attended to his every need and flirted with him as he flirted back, he told a joke: He rubbed the tips of his shoes together and then asked the women, Whats this? They were stumped. Its a black guy taking off his condom.

There came another joke about why two lesbians always get to where they are going faster than two gay guys: because the lesbians are always going 69. Pierces interview, which he taped, was the only honest and open one Woods has ever given. After that the steel wall of insulation came down, spearheaded by I.M.G.

…

The swirling question is if, and when, he will return to golf. Most observers think he will, but with companies such as Accenture, Gillette, and Tag Heuer basically fleeing for the hills, he would simply be a golfer trying to win a tournament. His focus is such that he can likely still win, whatever the insanity surrounding him, but life will be different. Donald Trump thinks he will come back bigger than ever, a sure sign the opposite will happen.

In the end it was the age-old clash of image versus reality, the compartmentalization of two different lives that inevitably merge at some certain point, whoever you are. He exhibited the same superhuman confidence off the golf course that he exhibited on it, apparently convinced he would never be caught despite the stupid sloppiness at the endtext messages, voice-mail messages. He deluded himself into thinking he could be something that he wasnt: untouchable. The greatest feat of his career is that he managed to get away with it for so long in public, the bionic man instead of the human one who hit a fire hydrant.”

The photos are gross, but again, Bisinger’s coverage of the sports icon falling from grace is very insightful, and captivating. It’s definitely intuitive; Tiger Woods goes from the typical jock, to basically a robot, a split personality, and hides behind some manufactured image while screwing around. The scandal isn’t surprising because of its sheer audacity, or his unconventional behaviour, –it’s because he was practically designed to be perfect by sponsors, and major sports companies.

DJ Pauly D from MTV’s ‘Jersey Shore’ spent some today giving actor Michael Cera a “makeover”. Now there’s an unlikely pairing, right? Apparently Michael is a huge fan of the show and wanted to hang with the cast while he was in town promoting his new movie, “Youth In Revolt”.

“It’s literally Michael hanging out with the cast,” a source says. “They’re shooting all day, so who knows what will happen.”

DJ Pauly tweeted the pictures this afternoon.

On set with Michael Cera in NYC 01/04/10 http://bit.ly/8eeQ7V

That is just too funny. I wonder if they dragged poor Michael to the salon to get his tan on? Are you tuning in to ‘Jersey Shore’? Are you planning on catching Michael’s new movie?

Photos via Pauly’s Twitter

He may not be a good husband, especially after recent events, but apparently he’s takes his job very seriously!

Charlie Sheen has returned to El Lay from Aspen after the domestic abuse incident with wife Brooke Mueller to get back to the set of Two and A Half Men.

While Brooke takes care of their twin sons Max and Bob in Aspen, Charlie is being welcomed back at work. A source says of Charlie:

“Sheen is a consummate professional. [He's] always on time, focused, and really liked by the crew.”

Maybe he should apply some of that effort in to his marriage!

[Image via WENN.]

(HMG) – In case you wonder why Lindsay Lohan’s life is such a mess, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Michael Lohan, 49, is dating again, this while facing an oncoming court date over alleged abuse of his ex-girlfriend, Erin Muller. Daddy Lohan’s new squeeze is his former pal Jon Gosselin’s ex-flame Kate Major — who at 26, is only three years older than Lohan’s daughter Lindsay. If your keeping score this is like a double rebound, with Michael having a bro-mance with Gosselin, and plays matchmaker introducing Kate to Jon. Jon and Michael have a falling out, Kate splits from Jon, and Michael’s there to pick up the pieces. Then Kate and Michael spend the holidays together in Chicago and even shared a hotel room in NYC during their depositions in the TLC lawsuit against Jon Gosselin. Now that’s ironic!

Michael denies he’s romantically involved with Kate, but RadarOnline, says the two have since been on very public romantic dates and made two significant purchases over the weekend: a diamond ring and a new beige BMW X5. Kate going from Jon to Michael shows both a person who not only doesn’t learn from her mistakes but compounds them. Michael’s ex Erin accused him of abusing her ‘twelve times in two years. In retaliation Michael just released a tape via Radar to prove good cause for his acts, showing Erin, 34, in the couple’s bedroom, apparently snorting coke. Classy guy!

Sad news today for French rocker Johnny Hallyday and actress Nathalie Baye.

Their daughter, 26-year-old actress Laura Smet was rushed to a hospital in Paris after a suicide attempt. Smet’s boyfriend called the police in the early afternoon today to report the incident.

According to reports, they believe Laura took a mixture of meds and alcohol.

The paramedics on scene administered first aid and then transferred her to a local hospital where she’s said to be recovering.

In an odd twist, Laura’s dad had sued surgeon Stephane Delajoux, the brother of Laura’s boyfriend, after Smet claimed the doctor botched a surgery to his back.

And yesterday, in an interview Laura did with a French newspaper, she revealed she was torn between siding with her father and her loyalty towards her boyfriend.

No word yet if the legal dramz had anything to do with her attempted suicide. But let’s hope she gets the proper help she needs.

Suicide is NEVER the answer!

[Image via WENN.]

Kristen Bell chatted with Health magazine for their Jan/Feb issue and shared a little bit about what her “type” is and how she stays grounded in Hollywood.

Kristen says that when she was single, looks were not a top priority when looking for a date:

Looks dont matter that much to me, so I kind of give everybody a chance. When I was single, my eyes were always open. There was nobody off the list. When my gut told me to date, I followed it.

Clearly her boyfriend Dax Sheppard had the winning combination of what she was looking for. When asked what made him different than other Hollywood men:

Because hes mine. I think he is very much a gentleman. I think hes kind, extremely funny and aware. With him, its honestly a toss-up between he is an excellent communicator and the funniest man Ive ever met.

She admits that she gets a kick of out the egos of some of her fellow actors:

I work with a lot of actors, and theres nothing funnier to me than when actors are super into themselves.

Kristen is too busy admiring her co-workers to be into herself – she shared in our quote of the day that she’s enjoying her ‘Burlesque’ co-stars a little too much.

Photos by WENN